So, after writing the story ( or should ) I say this first chapter of it. The question I kept getting was, “oh, what did she do to that guy?”

“ Do you still believe in love despite all these?” “ How are you able to let go despite the pain and hurts?” Etc…………….

Well, the answer is, she healed and No, she did nothing to that guy or any of them after everything for that matter. She is still strong believer of love and she have a very admirable self esteem. She look into the mirror and marvel at God’s creation. She doesn’t seek validation like she used to. While she is not perfect, she was also not broken. Her healing started in the year 2020 during the pandemic, prior to this time, she had given up hope on so many things.

If she sought love, it was because she felt so love starved. She felt unloved and unworthy and she remember begging ( while crying ) a guy never to leave her……oh! Lol, she left anyway. In 2020, I Victory Kwashigah invited her to a physical event on “ Relationship”

She remembered discarding the event because she didn’t think love was for her anymore. But she hadn’t seen Kwashigah in a while, so attending the event was an opportunity to meet up. So she attend, not for the event itself but to see Kwashigah. All she had in her mind was that, the event should end so she get to gist and laugh with Kwashigah.

But as the event progressed…………..

She started crying……….Emi, hard geh lomo Hurting inside, but smiling outside. She could never be caught afresh na ( crying in public when nobody beat her ). She tried to toughen up, but omo, the tears just keep pouring……..

It happened that the speaker had touched a part in her past She thought she had been buried and forgotten when the truth was that, it was still hurting her.

Pastor Kizito was preacher, he was talking about traumatic experiences, environmental factors and limitations and how they affect their future decisions. It dawned on her, that she had these demons to deal with and ignoring them like they don’t exist is not entirely healing………hence, the tears! She made a decision there and then, that she was going to TRULY HEAL

And she dedicated the months following it, to heal and let go. It took a couple of month and therapy. But in the end, she became better and today, she share her story with no sentiment or pain attached whatsoever and inspiring change as well……..this is where it all begins……

The Mindset, she like to start all her topic on a MINDSET because truly, that is where it all starts ( begins ) and she will tell you why and how?

But first, know this, the reason she remain in that pain, is because that is what you’re used to. That is why she started by sharing her story, to show you the possibilities of healing. If you don’t know healing is possible, how would you know when you’re healed?

The minds classify our experiences into two different types. When you have a particular experience, your reaction to that experiences determines how your mind interpret it. So we have the positive and negative experience. When you were little, and played football with the kids, if you scored a goal, the kids hailed and cheered you on…. You felt good, excited and happy.

The mind picks up that experience and stores it in a positive bank, so you will find yourself feeling happy, excited and joyful whenever the thought of football comes to your mind. And perhaps, you played so well and was always the goal scorer, your mates hailed and hyped you…. This made me feel even better. But as you grow, you’ll find that you have tendencies to be center of celebration…. So you’ll want to score more goals, not just on the pitch, but also in the real life.

Top class, date the hottest girl, seal the biggest deals, so the positive experience you had as a kid motivated you all along as you went through the course of life. But what if reverse was the case? You were playing ball with your mates as a kid, instead of scoring for your team, you scored against your team. Then the entire team starts to throw hateful words against you and the next time you went to play with them, they are like, “NO, you can’t join us again o, you looser”

You go to the other team and asked them to allow you in and they are like “You will score against us today, abi? Because its like that’s your calling. You better go and sit down and watch the real boys play or just read nursery rhymes with the girls, that’s where you belong”. Then they start laughing and throwing the ball at you scornfully. You cry and walk out as you hear them say, “cry, cry baby”

Now, the mind also picks this experiences and how you FELT towards it and stores it the Negative bank. Perhaps this boy answers a question in the class and get it wrong, the whole class, including the teacher call him movitor and laugh at him. He get home and his Mom compares him with his little brother, who is all perfect and clean whereas he is not. All of these experiences are stored in his mind.

And as he grows older, wherever he is faced with a challenge or situation that may require him to prove himself or work, his mind reminds him of “How he is not good enough, not smart, not the best one for the job or her, etc” When he tries to brake up and head on, his mind picks up one of his past negative experiences and replays it in his head. Then he affirms, that he is indeed, not good enough. This is the origin of Negative experiences and why they have such a powerful hold on you.

“ Traumatic Experiences” are Experiences that caused your scars, hurt and pain. They are those experiences that you can still vividly remember every detail. They are mostly negative experiences and unless outsmarted by a powerful positive experiences, may still have a hold over you………

Today, I exposed you to why those negative experiences still have hold over you……..

Tomorrow, we should talk about to reconcile with your past, how to break the hold of those negative experiences over you.

Until then, I’ll leave you with this world, “ Until you desire change or healing, it would not be forced on you. And to desire something, you must believe that it is achievable”……( Victory )